Bad justice

I've yet to run into anyone who was surprised at the Michael Jackson verdict. I've also yet to run into anyone who isn't pretty darned sure that Jacko's probably guilty of any number of acts of pedophilia. Just maybe not the one (s) he was charged with.

But, given the track record of the L.A prosecutors taking on celebrities, it was no wonder the verdict came out the way it did. Remember O.J. 'Slasher' Simpson, the venerable Menendez brothers and lately Robert Blake?

One wonders whether it's the prosecutors office or the people in L.A. themselves. We know they hold their celebrities to different, looser and more forgiving standards in their life and lifestyle; perhaps they also are allowed a different standard under the law as a well.

But being acquitted of the charges, does not mean that Wacko did not do it. It just means that it was not proven beyond a reasonable doubt to a pool of Los Angeles jurors who weren't smart enough or privileged enough to get out of jury duty.

To quote Juror No. 1:

"I feel that Michael Jackson probably has molested boys. I cannot believe that, after some of the testimony that was offered, I can't believe that this man could sleep in the same bedroom for 365 straight days and not do something more than watch television and eat popcorn. That doesn't make sense to me. But that doesn't make him guilty of the charges that were presented in this case, and that's where we had to make our decision."

Given that, can you explain why anyone would ever let their children within 20 miles of Neverland or of Jackson? Certainly there are better, safer amusement parks. In Bagdhad, perhaps?

My greatest amazement in the case, however, is reserved for the scores of Wacko onlookers outside the courtroom holding their pathetic vigil. They absolutely knew Jacko was innocent because .... well because ... well ... because we think he's a great entertainer. Makes perfect sense to me.

And so it goes.

On hiatus

A combination of work and pleasure will take me out of town for the next 10 days. I'll most likely return some time after June 14 with more blather and banalities.

Try not to let anything important happen when I'm away, OK?

And so it goes.

And you're next, sonny

One of the few advantages to growing old is that you get to adopt a certain curmudgeonlyness. Even if you seriously irritate people with your statements, they take into account that you're getting 'up there...' One disadvantage is that as you age, more and more things that used to bounce lightly off your back begin to really piss you off. Little things. Dumb things. Picky little bitchy things.

In that vein:

Things that irritate me Part I : Central Illinois drivers:
-- Yeah, I know, we're largely based on a rural, agricultural lifestyle, but does that mean we all have to drive like we're piloting a combine down Springfield Avenue?
-- That big flashing yellow arrow in your lane means that THE LANE IS CLOSED AHEAD. Consider merging before you're a foot from the sign. The sign's not gonna magically disappear as you approach. And I'm not always gonna be nice enough to let you in.
-- That red light does not mean 'three cars still can get through.' Two max.
-- The rules of the road don't boil down to 'well I made it.' As in: "Isn't that illegal? "Well, I made it.'
-- You do not have to slow to a complete stop before making a right-hand turn into a driveway or a side street. Really.
-- It is NOT required to pick up a cell phone the minute you step on the gas pedal.
-- It IS legal to turn on your left turn signal BEFORE you enter an intersection.
-- And by the way, turn signals do not waste energy; feel free to use them frequently
-- Laws really DO apply to UPS ansd FedEx trucks. They are NOT allowed to drive the wrong way down one-way streets, block driveways and endanger half the populace of Illinois to deliver that new Salad Shooter. It just seems that way.
-- Profiling by city police may be illegal, but it sure seems to happens pretty much daily. It seems like I'd almost have to drive down Green Street at 70 mph firing an Uzi out the window to get pulled over. After all, I'm a white, middle-aged, middle class man in a white-guy middle-aged middle-class vehicle. Unlikely I'm carrying drugs or guns or stolen property that you can search for. So why bother.
-- Leaving your left-turn arrow on for miles and miles is really really stupid. (That would be me; it's broken, deal with it).
-- Think before demanding to make a left-hand turn at a busy intersection during Champaign-Urbana's rush quarter-hour (10 minutes?). Those folks honking behind you aren't signaling 'have a nice day.'
-- Kids make lousy hood ornaments; slow down to at least 50 in school zones.
-- Slow down to about 20 in Campus Town. College kids think they're immortal.
-- 'Lane Ends, Right Lane Must Yield' does not mean you should try to outrun the car in the left lane.
-- Although they're almost never enforced, there are speed limits in Champaign-Urbana. If you try to stay within 20 mph or so you should be OK
-- Consider putting you car in gear and adjusting your mirror before the light turns green. Please?
-- It is NOT cool to drive down the street with your left arm hanging completely out the window. Yeah, I can drive one-handed too. So can teen-agers. Just watch
-- I have never found in any law book that the biggest, toughest meanest vehicle always has the right-of-way. Yield once in a while, OK?

And that's just the tip of my iceberg. Told you I was getting old and crotchety.

And so it goes.

Need a lobbyist?

I've said to anyone willing to listen for years that I would really REALLY hate to be a teenager or a young 20-something person today.

There's just too much pressure, too much temptation, too much expectation, too much peer-pressure, too much danger and too much excess for today's young people. There's just a lot of stuff to deal with, a lot of stuff to have to do or avoid that as old folks we couldn't even imagine. In my time there were no logos on clothing (OK, a little Levi logo on my back pocket...) and therefore no peer pressure to have the 'right' designer duds. Clean was the only requirement; and then came the 60s and even THAT disappeared. There were no computers; no iPods, no cell phones, no play dates, most schools had few or no college-prep classes. Drugs pretty much began and ended with cold pills and Bayer aspirin. I'd never heard of marijuana until I went to college. Other drugs? Were there other drugs? Besides Grain Belt, that is? You wanted to go to college, you applied and you were accepted (except for the few elite institutions). You didn't worry that a B on an essay would derail your career.

Life, simply, was much more simple. As kids, we were allowed to be kids.

Not so now.

Still, teenagers persist in existing, and some of them eventually go on to become productive adults. Despite what you see at the mall.

Life for teens, however, got a little more complicated in the waning hours of the holiday weekend. Among the various things passed in Springfield were a number of measures targeting teens and teen behavior.

From the AP:

Drivers under 18 would not be allowed to talk on cell phones, even phones equipped with hands-free devices.

And:

The Democratic governor also succeeded in raising the standards that students must meet to graduate from high school. Seniors would have to take at least two years of science, three years of math, four years of English and two writing-intensive courses to graduate.

And:

Gov. Rod Blagojevich led an effort to protect minors from mature video games by barring stores from selling them the games and creating a $1,000 fine for retailers who knowingly do so.

What's a teen to do?

But all is not lost. If they can't talk on their phone when they drive and can't electronically disembowel thousands in the latest video game, at least they can decorate themselves:

On the other hand, lawmakers did vote to lower the age for getting a tattoo to 18. Right now, anyone under 21 must have a parent's permission.

Now THAT'S comforting.

Just driving down the street before of after school can convince you that the cell phone law makes sense. But who and how is it gonna be enforced? My guess is it won't be; perhaps a teen involved in an accident MAY get a ticket for cellphone use. Which probably will be dismissed.

The graduation standards measure also makes sense. Provided it's not another unfunded mandate. Springfield says it isn't. Do you believe that? Does anyone? There MAY be funds this year, but after that ... don't bet your state-funded pension on it.

The video game law ... will THAT be enforced? CAN that be enforced? The answer to both is not likely. Champaign can't stop teens from drinking. You want to start frisking them as they leave the mall for a bootleg copy of Mortal Kombat? Just another measure that looks good on a resume come re-election time.

And finally, the tattoo law: Instead of making it easier to deface one's body, perhaps a mental evaluation before every tattoo or piercing?

Our lawmakers never cease to amaze me. Like the Steely Dan song goes '...the things you think are precious I can't understand...'

And so it goes.

How deep?

So we finally know who Deep Throat is.

Turns out he was former FBI official W. Mark Felt who was feeding information to Woodward and Bernstein (Hoffman and Redford?) at the Washington Post concerning the ongoing Watergate probe.

Felt, it turns out was the No. 2 man at the FBI, behind J. Edgar Hoover and had hoped to becomed the head when Hoover's reign ended. Didn't happen.

Today's morning news shows were all abuzz over the revelation. Two of the saddest comments I heard were on the Today Show. Charles Colson, who served time for his part in the Watergate crimes, said thet Felt has betrayed the trust of the president by helping the Post uncover the Nixon administration's crimes.

He was followed by former Nixon speechwriter Pat 'loose cannon' Buchanan, who came very close to calling Felt a traitor, stating that felt had impugned the integrity of one of the best, most popular presidents of this century. He implied felt should be treated -- and perhaps investigated -- as a criminal. How could anyone do that to Nixon?

What?

Making sure that crimes of a presidential administration come out so criminals can be prosecuted is a crime? Certainly, it was implied, the FBI investigation would have uncovered any little wrongdoings and nasty deeds, Colson and Buchanan whined.

Uh, would that be the same FBI with the brand-new head appointed by Mr. I-am-not-a-crook Nixon? Same one.

Despite the journalistic triumphs of this story and the heroic deeds of Mr. Felt, this story turns out to have a number of sad twists.

Among other press reports, from the Associated Press:

A book written and apparently autographed by the man who has revealed himself as Deep Throat, the long-anonymous source from the Watergate scandal, was being offered Wednesday for sale on eBay.
The seller of the book by W. Mark Felt said she purchased it at FBI headquarters in 1981, according to the Web site posting.

and from the Chicago Tribune:

While Felt's identity is now known, his motivation for being a source is less clear. He was not known to have a political agenda. And, in fact, he was not above some of the same tactics used by the Watergate burglars.
Felt was convicted and fined $5,000 for authorizing FBI agents in the early 1970s to illegally break into the homes of members of the Weather Underground, a radical antiwar group in the Vietnam era that had claimed responsibility for bombings at the Capitol and Pentagon.
But President Ronald Reagan in 1981 gave Felt a "full and unconditional" pardon in the case.

Again, from the AP:

Felt had expressed reservations in the past about revealing his identity, and about whether his actions were appropriate for an FBI man, his grandson said.
According to the article, Felt once told his son, Mark Jr., that he did not believe being Deep Throat "was anything to be proud of. ... You (should) not leak information to anyone."

and finally, the reason for the revelation from the 91-year-old stroke victim probably isn't for the purest of reasons.

His family members ... persuaded him to talk about his role in the Watergate scandal, saying he deserves to receive accolades before his death. His daughter, Joan, argued that he could "make enough money to pay some bills, like the debt I've run up for the children's education."

Make a few bucks. If that isn't the American Way, I don't know what is.

And so it goes.